Wining Wife®

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Tag: Arts

Relaxation After a Long Week

Relax

Relax (Photo credit: Orethorn)

 

When you’ve had a long week, nothing feels better than to relax. So often, our lives are hectic and we don’t allow ourselves time to just veg out in front of the television with a baseball game (or tv show, or movie) on. Instead, we begin filling our heads with the “shoulds” of life. “I should clean the kitchen,” “I should call this person,” “I should organize my penguin collection.” Whatever the “shoulds” of your life are, I want you to take a moment and give yourself permission to do nothing. Grab your favorite beverage and snack, put your feet up, and just be.

 

Why is it so hard to relax, especially when a week was particularly busy? Is it because we become so wound up with our own busy-ness that we forget how terrible stress is to our bodies? If we don’t listen to our bodies’ needs to relax, well then, we will become sick, overly fatigued, and cranky.

Why do we feel we *should* always be doing something? By being still, by taking that valuable moment to relax and have a glass of wine or a glass of water, by having a set winding down from the week routine, we can help care for ourselves. Wining Husband and I like to go to Creekside Cellars as part of our end-of-week routine, but I also enjoy watching silly TV shows in the quiet of the day as a way to relax before shooting into another activity (Project Runway is my guilty pleasure).

What do you do to relax after a long week? Post your thoughts in the comments.

 

 

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Some of the Blogathon Writers I’m Enjoying

 

Theme Song: “Roll Away Your Stone” Mumford & Sons

Image courtesy of sxc.hu

This month, I’m participating in the Word Count Blogthon. The purpose of the Blogathon is to post every day – and that requires careful planning. There are many talented participants in the challenge.  The great thing is that there are so many people with so many different viewpoints who are participating in the challenge. It’s interesting to see all the different things people come up with to write about.

  • Lisa at Land Guppy Productions has written about ten things learned at the ballpark while watching the Mariners. I have to agree with her assessment of sponsorship in baseball – I noticed the last time I went to see a local team play that everything was sponsored. It was very strange.
  • Kirstin at Running for Autism wrote a post on remembering the things that matter. It’s really good to remember those things that are important to us. After all, they are what make life worth living. She’s also a runner-which is exciting for me, because it’s great to feel motivated by reading someone else who enjoys running for charity causes.
  • Van Waffle at Speed River Journal has been writing about the natural in the everyday spaces. His post today was an ode to an office window. It’s so important to consider the way our work spaces make us feel when we’re in them.
  • Jodi at How to Write Better, Faster gave some great tips for sandwiching bad news. I mean, who likes to deliver the icky stuff to others? Rather than delivering bad news all in one chunk, she suggests that such communication should be handled in a delicate manner.

These are only four of the participants (there are over 200), and there are many other great blogs going on, so I don’t want to leave them out. These are just four of the posts that have stuck with me recently. If you’re participating, who are you enjoying? If you’re not, check out the roll of participants at Word Count and read some of these blogs!

 

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What’s Hiding in the Left Side of My Closet

 

bee eating

bee eating (Photo credit: acidpix)

 

Theme Song: “La Vie En Rose” Madeleine Peyroux

 

Projects: Lots of writing and editing; purging belongings that are not needed

 

So, I was going through my stuff (in a fit of insomnia, which happens from time to time) and I found a box of journals. I forgot I had these journals all boxed up neatly, and I began to look through them (this was after going through a box labeled “Sentimental Crap”). I figured it would be amusing to share some of my findings.

 

“January 1, 2000

Okay, so nothing catastrophic happened like the end of the world or anything – geeze, I can’t believe how many people wasted money on Y2K. Oh well, the new millennium  is here, and I haven’t made any resolutions yet.”

 

Heh! I was working at Barnes and Noble then, and found it kind of amusing that people would buy a ton of survival books.

 

“December 2, 1996

The Picture Frame

You Enclose me,

Shoving my heart

into a small strip

of film

Telling me who I am

and Who I am not”

 

To put it this way, this should be an example of why we should never change who we are for who someone else thinks we should be.

 

Here’s a funny one…I wrote it the day after my 21st birthday. Finding the right person has always been something on my mind. I had a writing professor suggest I make a list of everything I want in a partner then become those things. Here was my list:

 

“Nov. 4, 1998

…He has to love books and reading.

He has to enjoy children.

He has to be calm in stressful situations.

He has to be romantic.

He has to be in school or have a degree.

He has to be faithful.

He has to know what he wants in life.

He has to have a career in mind.

He has to be supportive of me/my decisions.

He has to be supportive of my son.

He has to deal with anger/stress in non-destructive, non-violent ways.

He has to like to joke around.

He has to not mind helping with housework.

He has to be a good cook.

He has to be honest.

He has to be charming.

He has to respect my friends.

He has to respect my freedom.

He has to like to hang out and just be together talking or not for hours.

He has to be creative.

He has to be supportive of women’s rights/feminist.

He has to be pro-active in issues important to him.

He has to be an optimist.

He has to be active, not passive.

He has to be a go-getter.

He has to love the rain and the way it smells after it rains.”

 

Here’s a great one. It’s from when I was…goodness…15. (Prepare to laugh)

 

“5/25/93

Bees From Hell

A steady buzzing noise was heard. All of a sudden, a whole bunch of bees appeared and attacked the man with the dark hat.

“Argggh! Help me!” The man yelled.

“Meet your death, Charlie.” The bees replied. [insert witty editorial remark years later. Really, 15 year old me? The bees replied???]

“No! I haven’t done anything to deserve this!”

“But your people have. They try to make us an extinct species!” [another interjection – seriously??? I’ll spare you the rest.]

 

And a last, philosophical thought for the moment. This was kind of fun, I’ll have to do it again another time.

 

“3/09/04

It is in the hidden nature of our language that we as philosophers get caught up in – the very tools we work with. We don’t chip away at all the meanings or nature, but rather eradicate and make useless and ambiguous the tool we use in our investigation. It’s like saying “see a tree” while only pointing at the veins in the leaves. One cannot see the whole picture while only looking at the pieces making it up.” [I was on a Parmenides kick at that point in time]

AND

9/7/04

Can one live another’s memories? Could it be that God is the source and we are just living out the memories of the source? This happens in all possible worlds in every possible possibility so that it only seems as though we have free will, but in ‘reality’ we are just living out a series of possibilities all of which cannot be fully realized by the current consciousness we possess, but instead for God, every possibility has already been “lived” out.”

 

Those were both two random, very short musings in a journal with a picture of a man with his head in his hands. I’d cut out a phrase “Does the Universe Exist if We’re Not Looking?” from a headline in a magazine and taped it around him.

 

What sorts of things do you have in the left side of your closet?

 

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L’amore Est Facille

 

Canon Love

Canon Love (Photo credit: Phalaenopsis Aphrodite)

 

Theme Song: “You or Your Memory” The Mountain Goats

 

Projects: Finishing up a chapter, sorting out email, the usual

 

So, today, I was sitting there, revising a chapter and proofreading it for errors, and I started to think about a phrase my friend used to tell me whenever I’d talk about how I thought love was a struggle – and this was back in 2003. “Love is easy,” she would say. I’d scoff at the thought. I mean, love is never easy, right? She gave me an assignment. She asked me to write a story where love WAS easy. So I did. Here are the opening paragraphs:

 

Max sat down at the first table he found empty at Moxies.  He took his journal out of his knapsack and sat it in front of him, jut next to his Soy Latte.  His well-ringed hand opened the notebook to the first empty page on which he wrote “L’amore est jamais facille.”  Then, he placed his left hand on the back of his neck and began to scribble as many French phrases as he could put together in the few minutes he waited for Nicole to show up.  “Je voudrais faire l’amour avec elle dans un lit, sur le table…” He wrote frantically, his hand pushing his black hair out of his face, grasping the fine tendrils, scratching at a zit on the side of his face.

            “Hey stranger,” a green-haired girl plopped down in front of him, and she sat her beer down while at the same time her butt hit the chair.

            “Hey,” Max said looking up, “Did you get it done?”

            “Yeah,” She paused then pulled up the sleeve on her shirt to reveal gauze and tape. “It’s done.”

            “Cool,” Max nodded.  “Shawna dumped me again today.”

            “Really, Why’d she do it this time?”

            “I don’t know,” Max brought his coffee to his lips, “I’m getting sick of her shit.”

            Nicole smiled and laughed, “Well you know, there are other girls out there.”

            “I guess so,” Max snickered then scribbled a phrase in his notebook, “C’est les autres filles pour moi.

 

The story goes on, of course, and Max realizes he’s in love with Nicole, his best friend. I’m not posting the whole thing because, frankly, it needs revision (it’s still in rough draft form), and that’s not the point. I think it’s kind of funny that when I was asked by my friend to write a story about love being easy, I wrote a story about a guy who was in a complicated relationship that was anything but easy and realizing that he was in love with his best friend.

 

It’s funny, because I’m in love with one of my best friends, and it’s super-easy. For years, I believed love was work, love was about sacrifice, love was about giving up who you were for who someone wanted you to be. Those believes are lame Hollywood-ized versions of love. Love is easy. You’re always you. I didn’t know my boyfriend at the time I wrote the story, but the story is kind of simple. Two people have a great time together, two people wind up falling in love.

 

Love is like a puzzle piece when it fits – it fits. The two pieces complement each other, go together well. There isn’t thought about “work” or “sacrifice” or “giving up.” You are who you are, there is no sacrifice, and it’s certainly not ‘work.’

 

When it doesn’t fit, it’s like trying to take a hammer to two puzzle pieces that aren’t shaped anything like each other and force them together. It’s a struggle. It’s a tug-of-war. It can be hell.  Parts of the pieces get hammered off and lost.

 

I wound up looking at pictures of a puzzle that was forced together and could see, instantly, that the pieces did not fit at all. It’s funny, because even without all the other problems that went into that relationship, it would never have worked. Partly because the pieces weren’t even from the same puzzle. There were so many differences, it’s amazing we could talk at all. Partly because we were both giving up so much of who we were to try to “work” at the relationship, that it was only a matter of time before things would fall apart.

 

For those who are looking for love, remember that when it works, it really works. When it doesn’t life can be a strange struggle. You should never have to change so much for someone else that you don’t know who the person in the mirror is anymore. You shouldn’t have a tally of who did what. Love isn’t a credit card. You shouldn’t feel like you’re racking up debt or that the other person owes you.

 

Nope, love is easy. It’s easy to give, it’s easy to receive. And if we’re lucky, we hold onto it.

 

 

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