Wining Wife®

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Category: Marriage and Relationships (page 1 of 2)

Lingerie Shopping Gift Guide from Hips & Curves

plus size christmas lingerie

Be prepared to hand the computer over to your husband (or boyfriend, or girlfriend – your partner).  Be sure the kids are in bed or otherwise occupied. Here are some great finds from Hips & Curves, a lingerie shop that carries cute & sexy things in plus sizes.

*This post contains affiliate links. Should you purchase from one of these links, I will receive compensation. This list is sponsored and compiled by the folks at Hips & Curves. I have included some photos, others that are a bit more risqué have been omitted. Also, be aware that this is not safe for work, nor does inclusion on the list entail my own endorsement. However, if you’re looking for a good way to switch things up with your partner, there are some ideas – including those relating to a particular novel involving the word “Grey” in the title.*

A “Haute” Holiday. Christmas Lingerie

The weather outside might be frightful, but private time can be delightful! Ignore the cold weather outside while heating things up with our “Haute” lingerie selections this holiday season.

Plus Size Sexy Santa Tie Cup Babydoll with Marabou Trim

Sexy Santa Tie Cup Babydoll with Marabou Trim – $39.95

(NOT PICTURED)

Naughty Mrs. Clause Open Cup Bustier – $47.95


Charmeuse and Lace Tie Back Babydoll – $37.95

Plus Size Satin Jacquard Corset, Red

Red and Black Satin Corset – $69.90

Plus Size Appliqued Lace and Satin Corset, Red and Black

Appliqued Lace and Satin Red and Black Corset – $85.90

 

Hannukah

Those 8 shinning lights won’t be the only thing heating up the night. Shine bright this festival of lights and let your partner discover their own holiday miracle when you’re wearing one of the fabulous holiday styles below.
 

Lace Overlay Garter Chemise – $39.95

Plus Size Sinfully Sweet Georgette Babydoll, Mulberry

Sinfully Sweet Georgette Lace Babydoll – $39.95

(NOT PICTURED)

Babydoll Peignoir Set – $49.90 – $55.90

Bella Taffeta Corset – $49.95


Bronwyn Steel Boned Corset – $149.95

Accessories

For Mrs. “Claws”

Sometimes Mrs. Claus likes to go from cookies to a bit more crazy. Have some fun this holiday by turning Mrs. Claus into Mrs. Claws.

(NOT PICTURED)

Studded Pyramid Ring Choker with O Ring – $34.95

(NOT PICTURED)
Red Heart Nippies – $15.00

(NOT PICTURED)
18″ Riding Crop – $24.95


Burlesque Boa – $29.95



3 Piece Body Jewel Set (Metallic/Blue) – $16.95

50 Shades of Fun

With the movie coming out, why not start Valentine’s early with a 50 Shades of White Christmas kick off. Here are 5 products to help turn your Silver Bells a bit more “Grey”.


Fifty Shades of Grey™ All Mine Deluxe Blindfold – $24.99


Fifty Shades of Grey™ Soft Limits Deluxe Restraint Wrist Tie – $22.99


Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy – $45.95


Fifty Shades of Grey™ You Are All Mine Metal Handcuffs – $19.99

 


Fifty Shades of Grey™ Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle – $29.99


Fifty Shades of Grey™ Hard Limits Universal Restraint Kit – $59.99

 

Sleepwear

Whether its cooking, eating, cleaning, going to friend’s for dinner, singing or hosting family, sometimes you only want “me time”. When you’re ready to relax and let your holiday go, try some of the following super-comfy and relaxing sleepwear. You deserve it!  

Plus Size Super Soft and Comfy Halter Top with Lace Trim, Heather Grey

Soft and Comfy Halter Top with Lace Trim – $39.95


Soft and Comfy Nightshirt – $37.95


Soft & Comfy Tank Dress with Lace Back – $32.95


Super Soft and Comfy Lace Trim Robe – $59.95


Soft & Comfy Robe – $49.95

 So there you have it! Have fun and be safe this holiday season!

Messy Beautiful Love Book Launch

Love is easy.

Marriage is HARD!

There, I said it. Even in a good marriage, there will be times when you and your spouse are struggling to get along, when you have one thing after another coming at you from all ends of the spectrum, or when some hurdle comes up that causes a great deal of stress.

Love is not neat and orderly. You can’t put it in a box at the end of the day and expect it to stay in the same place. It grows and changes and shifts and…

You get the idea.

I was selected to be a reviewer and part of the book launch team for Messy Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht. I’ve been reading the author, Darlene’s blog The Time-Warp Wife for a while and inspired by many of her posts on how to make a stronger marriage.

Yup, I’m old fashioned like that. I don’t talk a lot about my beliefs on here, but I do think that it’s important for us marrieds to make our marriage a priority in our lives. Yes, that means even when you have children. I have two. One is 16 and one is 8 1/2 months old. Marriage is still important!

In fact, the best way to stay together through the tough stuff is to stick together through the simple stuff. That means making your spouse a priority in your life. Yeah, it’s not easy in an age where work expects us to be on-call 24 hours a day, but it’s necessary. After all, tough stuff ends, kids grow up and move out, friends change jobs and situations, but at the end of the day, at the end of the season, at the end of the career, you have your spouse.

Enough of my soap box.

Messy Beautiful Love begins when things get messy. Financial problems, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse – all things that are beyond our individual control threaten to derail us on our quest for a long, happy, and healthy marriage if we let them. The book talks about surrendering your relationship to God, and waiting out the storm, while coming together as a couple. Look, it’s easy to be married in the honeymoon period. It’s considerably tougher when you wake up and realize that you’re in this lifeboat together, and what you do not only affects you, but it affects your spouse and your marriage.

The book talks about how it’s important to be your husband’s cheerleader – whether you’re with him or he’s out of sight. How many of us know that person in our group of friends who says awful things about her husband when he’s not around? I’ve written on why this sort of thing bothers me in the past. I don’t like husband bashing, and I don’t like it when people constantly husband bash. Isn’t this the person you stood next to and promised your love to? Religious or not, we owe our spouses our respect, love, and kindness.

In all, the book promises to be one that focuses on how to get through the tough times together – not just the easy times. You can pre-order it, and when you do, you’ll receive over $50 worth of free goodies.

goodies

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received on having a long and healthy marriage? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Woman vs. Woman Has Got to Stop!

English: One of the symbols of German Women's ...

English: One of the symbols of German Women’s movement (from the 1970s) Deutsch: Ein Logo der deutschen Frauenbewegung (aus den 70er Jahren) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

The Mommy Wars, competitive work environments, backstabbing friends – what do all of these things have in common? They all center around the idea that women, by nature, are quite competitive folks. Anyone can look in one of the forums on CafeMom and see a fight break out over the littlest things – rear-facing child seats, breastfeeding, schooling choices, the decision to stay home or not to stay home. Even forums and websites dedicated to feminism can become battlegrounds – arguments break out over whether or not someone is “feminist” enough (whatever that means) or whether a woman is a sell-out.

 

It’s time to step back. Look around. Rather than looking for ways to tear your fellow women down, can you find something to like about that person – celebrate or admire even? I’m not quite sure where the woman vs. woman mentality came from – whether it’s based upon a belief that there is a limited number of good men out there, a limited number of opportunities, or on an unwillingness to allow one self to become vulnerable. The truth is, just like in the movie Mean Girls, I bet if we all started talking about our experiences we’d have things in common, insecurities in common, triumphs in common.

 

For one week, rather than focusing on what you can tear down in another woman, see if you can find something to like. If we stop focusing on life as a competition and start focusing on how we can work together, it will be so much easier to get the equality we want! “Divide and conquer” is a saying for a reason.

 

What do you think? Why do you think women are so cruel to one another?

 

 

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Life: Inexpensive Dates with Your Spouse

lunch-2007-04-03a

lunch-2007-04-03a (Photo credit: flakyredhead)

 

It’s so important to continue to date your spouse after you get married, and especially after you have kids together. However, it’s not always cheap to go on dates – and not having money for a date can be a deterrent for many couples who would otherwise go out. In Success in Life Through Personality Engineering, my co-author (Murali Chemuturi) and I give a list of ideas for inexpensive dates. Here are a few suggestions.

 

  • Go on a walk around a park together, take a picnic lunch made at home, enjoy the picnic lunch
  • Visit a library book sale – our local Friends of the Library sale has books for as low as 25 cents! It can be fun to explore these sales together
  • Take advantage of some of your local businesses and farms. Many of the local wineries here will have new release parties where the tasting is either free or only $5 a person
  • Go out for dessert together – this will get you both out of the house, and you won’t spend as much money as you would on a full dinner
  • Visit a restaurant that has a happy hour menu or cocktail menu, often you can try out their dishes as “small plates” for far less than you would pay for a full meal
  • Try having lunch out instead of dinner, if you want to go to a fancy restaurant; lunch prices are usually less than dinner prices
  • Keep a jar filled with low-cost and free activities you’d like to try out. When boredom hits, pull an activity out of the jar and do that
  • Volunteer together – it can be a lot of fun to team up with your spouse to help others, plus by working together toward a common goal, you can help build your relationship

 

What do you and your spouse like to do that’s inexpensive or free? As a family, we enjoy going to our local observatory, which is volunteer-led and always free. It could also make a very romantic date for a couple. Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

 

 

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Life: Don’t go to bed angry

By remembering that Wining Husband is my best friend, it helps to resolve differences when they crop up. He and I promised one another to avoid going to bed angry when we got married.

In the vows my husband and I said to each other when we got married, we had our marriage deputy (my father-in-law) give a speech about what makes a good marriage. Including in the quote in our vows was a bit about not going to bed angry. We never go to bed angry – and believe me, like all married couples, we have our disagreements.

To me, not going to bed angry means that you don’t take a grudge with your spouse. Even if you don’t resolve the argument, you remember that you love this imperfect person next to you. You remember that you’ve promised this person a future. You remember all the wonderful things that sharing a life with this individual means for you. Sure, you might not see eye-to-eye, but at the same time, who wants to always agree with their spouse? It would be like being married to yourself, and if you’re like me, that would be booooooorrrrring!

Instead, it’s good that we challenge one another. What else will make us grow? I promised my husband to be his student and his teacher. Sure, we might not agree all the time, but we can definitely learn from one another. It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong, but when I realize that I am, I quickly apologize and we move on. Vice-versa is true of Wining Husband. If you’re going to bed angry, you’re holding onto resentment. Your spouse is only human. Many things that we argue about really don’t matter in the long run of things. I mean, I honestly cannot remember what little thing it was that sparked the last argument we have. What I do remember is my husband holding my hand the entire time I was in the ER having medical tests done. What does matter is having mutual respect and honesty in a relationship. Those are paramount to having a good life together.

Success in Life through Personality Engineering

Commitment doesn’t just mean commitment to your spouse when it’s working. It means looking at the person you’re arguing with, remembering that the person is fallible, and has his or her own flaws and strengths, and remembering that you love that person. It means choosing to take a deep breath and find a way to resolve differences rather than shout out angry words. It means saying “I need to take a break and have some space in the other room for a few minutes” when you feel flooded with emotion. It means that you look at the other person and you want no harm at all to ever come to that person – least of all from you. That’s why it’s so important that when you climb into bed next to your spouse, that you do not harbor feelings of anger. Anger breeds discontent and resentment which are killers for a marriage. In my book, Success in Life Through Personality Engineering (Co-authored with Murali Chemuturi), I talk about healthy relationships and sustaining a marriage. It is vital to keep resentment out of relationships, because it can lead to contempt. By resolving conflicts quickly – or agreeing to discuss an argument later, and going to bed together as a couple – contempt can be kept out of relationships.

 

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Date Nights

 

The Wining Husband and I after our last date night – dinner, drinks, and conversation – what else do you need?

Date nights are an important part of any long-term relationship. Let’s face it, we all get busy. There are careers to build, kids to shuttle around, friends to see, and organizations to be involved in. Even if you spend your evenings with your spouse, it’s not the same as being engaged in courtship with your spouse. In fact, in my wedding vows with Wining Husband, we promised one another that we wouldn’t end the courtship and that we would be each other’s partner in mischief.

In all seriousness, you do need to get out. We have things we like to do on a weekly basis – going to wine tastings, hanging out at a sports bar, enjoying walks together, watching movies at home together – but date night is different. On date night, you get dressed up to go out with your spouse. You go to an effort for your partner – and you do something different. We have “mini-dates” often, and true date nights about once a month where we’ll go to dinner, see a movie or an opera (at the movie theater!), and perhaps if the mood strikes us we’ll see a band or go dancing. By continuing to date after you’ve already “won” over your partner, you can keep that magic connection. You can forget about housework and laundry and work and kids and gardening and doctors appointments and you can just be together.

Too often we become too complacent in our relationships. We wake up next to the same person day after day, and sometimes we forget why we’re with that person who made our knees go weak in the early stages. Instead, what we see is an endless list of chores, obligations, and bills. Set all that aside. If you’re short on cash, pack up a picnic dinner. Grab an inexpensive, but amazing bottle of wine. Go hike somewhere, spread out a blanket, and let the day pass – without phones or computers.

What are your favorite date night ideas? Post your ideas in the comments!

 

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Married!

 

Theme Song: Pink MartiniLet’s Never Stop Falling in Love

Just Married!

So, a week ago, my husband and I decided, for a variety of reasons, that we would go ahead and get married. We still are planning on having a religious/traditional wedding next year on our two-year anniversary. It’s always good to celebrate love. We went out to a local bridge and said our vows, in front of our officiant – my husband’s father – and then we went out to lunch and drank champagne to celebrate. I don’t think I’ve ever made a better decision than the one I made in marrying him. We followed up our marriage ceremony by heading off that evening to participate in my second firewalk – his first. The first firewalk was 4 days before we met. It was just as amazing a second time. We each crossed the fire once on our own, and then twice holding hands. Talk about a spectacular way to celebrate a marriage! We finished off the evening by both participating in an arrow breaking ceremony. There are photographs of the event, that I will post as soon as I have them available to me. Meanwhile, here’s a picture of us a little bit before we walked over 1400 degree coals together.

Mr. and Mrs. Firewalker before our walk across the coals

I couldn’t imagine a better partner or friend. Here’s to many years spent in the future with the most wonderful and supportive husband a gal could dream of  🙂

 

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Saturday Night Date Night

Theme Song: “By the Cathedral” Keren Ann

So tonight we went to a wine tasting, dinner, and to see the film The Avengers. It was a pretty good time!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Mother’s Day weekend! What do your plans involve?

no images were found

Female Legitimacy, Battlestar Galactica, Sex, Love, and Emotion

 

Theme Song: “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar”

So, I’ve been watching episodes of Battlestar Galacitca with my son and my fiancé. It’s interesting the different rolls women have in this series. I’m only in the second season, so please don’t ruin it for me in your comments. It seems to me that the women in this program are either religious, sexual partners, in love, or filled with angry emotion. That seems to appear to be how women are portrayed in media, period. After all, aren’t we emotional, sexual, loving beings – and when it comes to legitimacy as leaders, we need to be spiritual and the “perfect” woman?

What is the “perfect woman?” Especially when it comes to learning how to interact with the opposite sex, this can be a loaded question. It can put a lot of pressure on women. As a woman, I’m told not to move too fast, too slow. Don’t have sex too often, too seldom. Don’t put career first: Put career first! You’re your own person; you are here to serve your partner and help him to become the man he is meant to be. Womanhood is such a complex thing!!!

It can be overwhelming. What makes a woman, a woman? What makes a man a man? In our media. we learn that women are supposed to be beautiful, intelligent, matriarchs who can heal a wound with a kiss and make our husbands swoon. In our academic lives, we are told we are independent, we don’t need men, and relationships are the balls and chains that enslave us.

I tend to think that life is what you make of it. I love my partner and fiance. I would never look at him as anything other than a “partner” in the truest sense of the word.

What does modern media teach you about what it means to be a woman? What do you think about that?

 

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Engagement Party!

 

Theme Song: “Let’s Never Stop Falling in Love” Pink Martini

So tonight we had some local friends over for our engagement party. It seems everyone has a cold or was out of town…but we still had a good time. Here are some pictures from the event. (And yes, those are my awesome shoes I wore tonight – super high heels – and supremely comfy! I made pulled pork and flan! It was a spectacular night! The company that made it was great!)

What did you do with your Saturday night?

 

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