Wining Wife®

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Month: May 2017

The Teenager Graduated and Baby 4 is Here

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks involving a high school graduation AND a birth. The upswing? There is a beautiful and healthy new baby in our lives, the teenager gets to go off to college in August, and I’ll be able to enjoy a glass of wine with Wining Husband on our anniversary in a couple weeks. The downswing? Baby 4 is here due to an emergency induction.

First, the graduation. The teenager blows me away with how accomplished he is at 18. You should see the stack of medals and awards he has accumulated. I do not think it is possible to be more proud of him than I am. He’s going off to college on multiple performing art and merit scholarships in the fall. I want to eat up as much time with him as possible before he heads off. I am so glad I got to see him walk across the stage. On Monday, it didn’t look like I would be able to do that.

 

From Low Risk to a Cause for Concern

In March and April, I was hit by a nasty, nasty respiratory virus that knocked me out for a few weeks. On top of it, I had some family issues going on in the background, that evidently were enough to create a good amount of stress. I noticed at my doctors’ appointments that my blood pressure, normally in the 115/60 range, had started to creep up. I was gaining more weight than is normal for me at the end of pregnancy. I started to look for other warning signs and red flags for preeclampsia.

On Thursday, May 4th, I woke up and my feet were extremely swollen.   I put my feet up and tried to stay off of them as much as possible until my OB appointment in the afternoon. The swelling did not go down, even though I was resting. I even took a nap on my left side. We got to my appointment, and my blood pressure was the highest it had been. They collected a urine sample, and I was sent home with instructions to go right into labor and delivery should I develop a headache or visual disturbances. 

Will I Make Graduation?

I heard nothing back on Friday, so I assumed no news was good news. However, I continued to feel worse in terms of fatigue levels. Saturday we did graduation prep – we got decorations and the teenager’s graduation gifts. I’d intended to finish up any client work and an outstanding customer order over the weekend, but just heading out for that bit of activity wore me out. I felt that something was wrong, very wrong. It was more than just anxiety. I knew there was something not right. I took it easy, only because I had no choice. I couldn’t focus, and I felt like heck. On Sunday, the contractions began – but they wouldn’t get regular. I started to worry I wouldn’t make it to Tuesday’s graduation.

Late Monday afternoon, I finally heard back from my doctor’s office. It turned out I DID have protein in my urine and glucose. They wanted me to come in again the next day, Tuesday, for further evaluation.  

A Very Risky Situation

I went in. My blood pressure was very elevated, over the 140/90 threshold. I still hadn’t had a headache or vision disturbances, but I did feel really out of it. Plus, I was nauseous and having horrible heartburn. I also was having a hard time catching my breath. Just the short walk from the bed to the bathroom was wearing me out. My OB wanted me to go in for immediate induction, but she agreed that if I could pass the non-stress test that I could go to graduation and then head in for induction right afterward. I was hooked up to the monitor, but Princess Ladybug was fluttering all about and they couldn’t get a good tape on her. So, it was off for a biophysical profile ultrasound to ensure that she was safe. 30 minutes later, I was cleared to head to graduation. I was in a world of back pain, but I ate, I visited with my sister who had come in to support my teenager for graduation, and then I rested with Princess Boogie Oogie and the Chunky Monkey until it was time to head to graduation. 

Mid-graduation, my head started to hurt, and my ears started to ring. I started to feel even worse. I was very glad I was being induced soon. I watched the teenager walk across the stage, clapped, watched the closing, took pictures, scarfed down some food, dropped the small people off at their grandparents’ house, made sure the teenager got to his grad night celebration, and headed in to begin the induction. When we got in, my blood pressure was the highest it’s ever been in my life. I felt completely awful. 

19 Hours Later…

19 hours of unblocked (no epidural, no pain medication) natural except for Pitocin labor later, Princess Ladybug made her appearance. There was cord compression going on, and I tried to remain calm for the purpose of getting her into this world as quickly and safely as possible.  I was 38 weeks along, she was 6lbs 11oz and 19.75″ long. My husband cut the cord, and my sister was there for the entire birth…and yes, I was making goofy jokes and faces on a yoga ball when I was dilated to 7 cm because I was trying to remain calm and focused to get through the pain and get baby here as soon as possible. By that time, my blood pressure had returned to normal, and the headache had turned into a hunger and thirst headache. The swelling had gone down a good bit. My OB decided not to give me magnesium sulfate unless the headache persisted through eating, having some caffeine, resting, and hydrating. Baby was examined by the pediatrician – and she looked great!  

We Got to Go Home!

The next day, after the 24 hour testing for myself and Princess Ladybug, we were able to go home. Everything had returned to normal for me, and Princess Ladybug was doing great. She’s the smallest birth weight of my 4 kids.  I still have to be on the lookout for any sudden change – particularly a headache that won’t go away or blood pressure that goes up for the next 6 weeks. Moreover, because I had preeclampsia, I’m now at an elevated risk for preeclampsia should I become pregnant again and my stroke and heart attack risk have doubled. It’s really important (as if it weren’t before) for me to stay on top of my health. I’m not going to lie. I’m an emotional wreck. I’d been hoping that in a couple of years that we would try for the last baby, baby 5. Now, we’ll see what my OB says. That may be too risky to my health and that baby’s health. I have four kids who need me earthside. 

Preeclampsia Warning Signs

The thing that saved both mine and Princess Ladybug’s lives was familiarity with the warning signs of preeclampsia. I had a mild case of it that could have become much worse had I not had great medical care and raised a concern over the swelling. Here are the warning signs. Share them with the women you know. It’s also important to note that you might not feel any symptoms, hence why its so important to have regular prenatal care where your blood pressure and labs are carefully monitored.

  • High blood pressure (140/90 or higher, or significantly higher than your baseline – 15 degrees for diastolic, 30 degrees for systolic).
  • Protein in your urine
  • Swelling – particularly in the face, hands, and feet
  • Headaches that do not go away with Tylenol, food, water, or rest
  • Sudden onset of nausea or vomiting after mid-pregnancy 
  • Abdominal and/or shoulder pain
  • Lower back pain
  • Weight gain of 2 or more pounds in a week
  • Vision changes including flashing lights, auras, light sensitivity or blurry vision and spots
  • Super fast and strong reflexes
  • Shortness of breath
  • Anxiety, racing pulse, mental confusion, or a sense of doom

I was lucky, as my symptoms largely disappeared during late labor and after birth. Many women are not so lucky. Preeclampsia occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period in 5-8% of pregnancies. It can progress really quickly after 20 weeks. Preeclampsia, HELLP Syndrome and eclampsia are responsible for 76,000 maternal deaths and 500,000 infant deaths every year.

You can learn more about preeclampsia and learn how you can help with research on this disorder at the Preeclampsia Foundation’s website. 

I am running behind on book reviews, client work, and customer orders at the moment. I am doing my best to work through the backlog, but my health has to come first. 

I am so glad and so thankful that Princess Ladybug and I are both here in this world. 

Review of How to Be Everything by Emilie Wapnick

I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of different interests. In fact, while I’ve always known I’ve wanted to be a writer, it hasn’t been easy eliminating other potential career paths. I also LOVE architecture. In another lifetime, I’d totally be an architect. Maybe I’ll go back to school and get an MFA in fiction writing…oh wait, maybe I’ll go and do a MPA and work for the city. I already have an MA in philosophy and most of a Ph.D. in the same discipline, but for a while, I toyed with the idea of getting an MFA in creative writing and social justice then getting a joint Ph.D./JD in social justice law and political theory. Yup.  I can be a bit of a hot mess when it comes to deciding what I want to be – AND I’M GROWN UP…sort of…kind of…maybe.

So when I had the opportunity to review Emilie Wapnick’s How to Be Everything, I was really excited. Maybe now I could figure out how to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do within a lifetime. I love her concept of a multipotentialite, what I need now is a strategy for making that work in my favor. The chapter on productivity was especially helpful. Since I have so many projects all the time, keeping track of them and making sure I progress on the projects waiting in the wings can be a bit daunting. 

If you’re looking for a way to make it all work, this is a handy book to have on hand. What would you do if you could figure out how to be everything? 

About How to Be Everything

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne (May 2, 2017)

What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a familiar question we’re all asked as kids. While seemingly harmless, the question has unintended consequences. It can make you feel like you need to choose one job, one passion, one thing to be about. Guess what? You don’t.

Having a lot of different interests, projects and curiosities doesn’t make you a “jack-of-all-trades, master of none.” Your endless curiosity doesn’t mean you are broken or flaky. What you are is a multipotentialite: someone with many interests and creative pursuits. And that is actually your biggest strength.

How to Be Everything helps you channel your diverse passions and skills to work for you. Based on her popular TED talk, “Why some of us don’t have one true calling”, Emilie Wapnick flips the script on conventional career advice. Instead of suggesting that you specialize, choose a niche or accumulate 10,000 hours of practice in a single area, Wapnick provides a practical framework for building a sustainable life around ALL of your passions.
You’ll discover:
•  Why your multipotentiality is your biggest strength, especially in today’s uncertain job market.
•  How to make a living and structure your work if you have many skills and interests.
•  How to focus on multiple projects and make progress on all of them.
•  How to handle common insecurities such as the fear of not being the best, the guilt associated with losing interest in something you used to love and the challenge of explaining “what you do” to others.

Not fitting neatly into a box can be a beautiful thing. How to Be Everything teaches you how to design a life, at any age and stage of your career, that allows you to be fully you, and find the kind of work you’ll love.

Purchase Links

HarperCollins | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About Emilie Wapnick

Emilie Wapnick is a speaker, career coach, blogger, and community leader. She is the founder and creative director at Puttylike.com, where she helps multipotentialites integrate all of their interests to create dynamic, fulfilling, and fruitful careers and lives. Unable to settle on a single path, Emilie studied music, art, film production, and law, graduating from the Law Faculty at McGill University in 2011. Emilie is a TED speaker and has been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, The Financial Times, The Huffington Post, and Lifehacker. Her TED talk, “Why Some of Us Don’t Have One True Calling,” has been viewed over 3.5 million times, and has been translated into 36 languages. She has been hired as a guest speaker and workshop facilitator at universities, high schools, and organizations across the United States and internationally.

Find out more about Emilie at her website, and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Book Review: My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark Lukach

No matter how great life seems, things like depression, anxiety, and nervous breakdowns can hit at any time. For Mark Lukach, and his wife, Giulia, mental illness hit after Giulia turned twenty-seven. Lukach chronicles their life with mental illness and the way that mental illness shapes a marriage. The story that Lukach tells is poignant and page-turning. I couldn’t put the book down because I had to find out what was happening with Giulia whether she got better, and how Mark and their marriage fared through all of this. 

As someone who has suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety, it was really good to read a book from the perspective of someone who has been the partner of the person struggling against mental illness. I recommend this book and hope that it helps to de-stimgatize mental illness.

About My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Harper Wave (May 2, 2017)

A heart-wrenching, yet hopeful, memoir of a young marriage that is redefined by mental illness and affirms the power of love.

Mark and Giulia’s life together began as a storybook romance. They fell in love at eighteen, married at twenty-four, and were living their dream life in San Francisco. When Giulia was twenty-seven, she suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break that landed her in the psych ward for nearly a month. One day she was vibrant and well-adjusted; the next she was delusional and suicidal, convinced that her loved ones were not safe.

Eventually, Giulia fully recovered, and the couple had a son. But, soon after Jonas was born, Giulia had another breakdown, and then a third a few years after that. Pushed to the edge of the abyss, everything the couple had once taken for granted was upended.

A story of the fragility of the mind, and the tenacity of the human spirit, My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward is, above all, a love story that raises profound questions: How do we care for the people we love? What and who do we live for? Breathtaking in its candor, radiant with compassion, and written with dazzling lyricism, Lukach’s is an intensely personal odyssey through the harrowing years of his wife’s mental illness, anchored by an abiding devotion to family that will affirm readers’ faith in the power of love.

Purchase Links

HarperCollins | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About Mark Lukach

Mark Lukach is a teacher and freelance writer. His work has been published in the New York Times, the Atlantic, Pacific Standard, Wired, and other publications. He is currently the ninth-grade dean at the Athenian School, where he also teaches history. He lives with his wife, Giulia, and their son, Jonas, in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Find out more about Mark at his website, and connect with him on Facebook and Instagram.

Book Review: Signs and Seasons by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber

What’s your sign? I’m a Scorpio. Supposedly, that makes me intense, passionate, determined, loyal, and obsessive – among other things. While those are all qualities I possess, I’m not sure if they’re qualities I possess because I’m me or because I’m a Scorpio. Either way, it’s fun to think about the way that the stars we were born under affect our lives. In Signs and Seasons by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber with Chef John Oaks, the authors ask the question, “What are the best foods for each astrological sign?” They then provide a variety of recipes to answer that question.

As a Scorpio, my foods are “pumpkins, chocolate, oysters, artichokes, mushrooms, onions, beets and lobster” and my herbs are “cumin” and “garlic.” (26) That’s partly true…except I don’t like oysters, because slimy, and I’ve only had lobster once and wasn’t much a fan. Regardless of the accuracy, the recipes in the book look delicious, and it’s a fun way to choose a menu for your dinner party guests.  This would make a fun gift for a friend getting his or her own place for the first time. 

About Signs and Seasons

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: HarperElixir (May 2, 2017)

Discover how to eat for your sign and nourish your soul in Signs and Seasons, the one-of-a-kind cookbook that pairs chef-driven seasonal recipes with deep insight into how astrology shapes our appetites, from iconic astrologer Monte Farber and artist Amy Zerner.

Food connects us to our families, history, culture, and to the natural world itself—to the seasons and the cycle of life. Just as our path around the sun—and through the Zodiac—dictates the seasons, the seasons dictate what will flourish, from the tender greens of early spring to late summer’s lush and impossible perfect tomatoes.

In Signs and Seasons, Farber and Zerner—along with chef John Okas—take home cooks through the four seasons and each of their astrological signs in over 95 tantalizing seasonal recipes that include starters; meat, seafood, and vegetarian mains; sides; and desserts for each sign.

Inspired by the cuisine of the Mediterranean, home of the Greco-Roman cultures that named the planets after their gods, Signs and Seasons teaches you how to:

·         Feed friends and loved ones based on their signs and the season

·         Deepen your understanding of Nature and the Universe

·         Discover how astrology shapes our personalities, tastes, and appetites

Whether exploring the “Twin nature” and “Mercurial spirit” of ramps (a spring delicacy well suited Geminis) in a recipe for Ramps al Olio or the historical association of saffron with Venus in the recipe for Roasted Corn Orecchiette, Signs and Seasons is the perfect guide for eating in a way that emphasizes both sensual nourishment and psychic satisfaction. Beautifully photographed in full color by Monte Farber and illustrated by Amy Zerner, Signs and Seasons is a one-of-a-kind source of inspiration for astrology enthusiasts and home chefs alike.

Purchase Links

HarperCollins | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About the Authors:

Since 1988, AMY ZERNER, a U.S. National Endowment for the Arts award-winning fine artist, and her husband, author MONTE FARBER, have created what they call their family of “spiritual power tools,” including The Enchanted Tarot, Instant Tarot, Sun Sign Secrets, Karma Cards, Little Reminders: The Law of Attraction Deck, Chakra Meditation Kit, The Truth Fairy Pendulum Kit, The Soulmate Path and Quantum Affirmations. There are over two million copies of their works in print in sixteen languages. The couple lives in East Hampton, NY. They believe that adding love, light, and laughter to everything one cooks is essential to creating great meals and a great life.  More at www.theenchantedworld.net.

CHEF JOHN OKAS began his career in childhood, cooking alongside his Sicilian grandmother in their family kitchen. He has cooked at Paradox in Manhattan, Georgette’s in Easthampton, and the Captiva Inn in Florida. Under the pen name John Penza, he is the author of Sicilian-American Pasta and Sicilian Vegetarian Cooking. He currently lives in Bridgehampton, New York, where he is a personal chef and is also associated with the Highway Restaurant.

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