Love is easy.
Marriage is HARD!
There, I said it. Even in a good marriage, there will be times when you and your spouse are struggling to get along, when you have one thing after another coming at you from all ends of the spectrum, or when some hurdle comes up that causes a great deal of stress.
Love is not neat and orderly. You can’t put it in a box at the end of the day and expect it to stay in the same place. It grows and changes and shifts and…
You get the idea.
I was selected to be a reviewer and part of the book launch team for Messy Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht. I’ve been reading the author, Darlene’s blog The Time-Warp Wife for a while and inspired by many of her posts on how to make a stronger marriage.
Yup, I’m old fashioned like that. I don’t talk a lot about my beliefs on here, but I do think that it’s important for us marrieds to make our marriage a priority in our lives. Yes, that means even when you have children. I have two. One is 16 and one is 8 1/2 months old. Marriage is still important!
In fact, the best way to stay together through the tough stuff is to stick together through the simple stuff. That means making your spouse a priority in your life. Yeah, it’s not easy in an age where work expects us to be on-call 24 hours a day, but it’s necessary. After all, tough stuff ends, kids grow up and move out, friends change jobs and situations, but at the end of the day, at the end of the season, at the end of the career, you have your spouse.
Enough of my soap box.
Messy Beautiful Love begins when things get messy. Financial problems, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse – all things that are beyond our individual control threaten to derail us on our quest for a long, happy, and healthy marriage if we let them. The book talks about surrendering your relationship to God, and waiting out the storm, while coming together as a couple. Look, it’s easy to be married in the honeymoon period. It’s considerably tougher when you wake up and realize that you’re in this lifeboat together, and what you do not only affects you, but it affects your spouse and your marriage.
The book talks about how it’s important to be your husband’s cheerleader – whether you’re with him or he’s out of sight. How many of us know that person in our group of friends who says awful things about her husband when he’s not around? I’ve written on why this sort of thing bothers me in the past. I don’t like husband bashing, and I don’t like it when people constantly husband bash. Isn’t this the person you stood next to and promised your love to? Religious or not, we owe our spouses our respect, love, and kindness.
In all, the book promises to be one that focuses on how to get through the tough times together – not just the easy times. You can pre-order it, and when you do, you’ll receive over $50 worth of free goodies.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received on having a long and healthy marriage? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.