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Causes and Community

Supporting Gay Marriage…Or as I Like to Call it, Marriage

Theme Song: “Lounge Act” Nirvana

For almost a year now, I’ve worked as a volunteer with a very important organization, Stonewall Alliance. They offer support services and community for all members of the LGBTIQQA population (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, and Ally) locally. Many of my friends belong to this community, as do I. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that President Obama has offered his support to the issue of equality for all couples when it comes to marriage. It should not ever be a fight for one member of a relationship to visit the other in the hospital because they are not legally married. It should not be an issue when our soldiers are off for their partners to receive support and aid as any married couple would. The fact that one is a member of the LGBTIQQA community does not make him or her any less capable of deep commitment than anyone else. In fact, one only has to look at many of the relationships in politics or Hollywood to understand that relationships only last so long as the people committed to the relationship work on it and not only commit once to one another but continually commit themselves to the other individual in the relationship.

Marriage has many dimensions to it. There’s the emotional level – the commitment we make to our partners on a daily basis. I don’t think there needs to be any kind of ceremony or ritual to make for an emotional marriage between two people. There’s the spiritual level – the deep level bond two people have between themselves and their spiritual life, and it is often celebrated in the form of a ceremony with others. There’s such a breadth of religious beliefs in the world, that I don’t want to limit what is possible there, so here I mean spiritual in the largest sense possible. This can tie into the community – the community’s recognized support and acknowledgment of the relationship, but these two can be separate. There’s also the legal sense – the sense in which certain rights or privileges are granted based upon the community recognition of a couple’s official status.

What is sad is that we often deny marriage in the community and legal sense to those who are fully committed to one another in all senses of the word. In the past, we have also denied interracial marriages and interfaith marriages. Isn’t it time we allow ALL people who would like to marry to be able to do so?

Marriage is a dynamic relationship, it has been shown to alleviate stress, lead to happier lives, and extend the lives of those who are in this particular relationship. Why deny the right to commit oneself fully, with the community support and legal benefits and rights, that heterosexual couples are able to receive to others based upon who they love? To me, that seems like too far a step back in time.

Ronda Bowen

Ronda Bowen is a writer, editor, and independent scholar. She has a Master of Arts in Philosophy from Northern Illinois University and a B.A. in Philosophy, Pre-Graduate Option, Honors in the Major from California State University, Chico. When she is not working on client projects from her editorial consulting business, she is writing a novel. In her free time, she enjoys gourmet cooking, wine, martinis, copious amounts of coffee, reading, watching movies, sewing, crocheting, crafts, hanging out with her husband, and spending time with their teenage son and infant daughter.

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2 Comments

  1. I knew I was going to stick my foot in it by saying I didn’t know anybody in the accountability group. In fact, I did read your blog and talk to you early in the blogathon, but didn’t make the connection until you mentioned your blog name. Anyway, I’m pleased to learn you are an active supporter of this community, of which I am also a member.

    1. Yes, definitely! I just got married last week, hence the name change (I’ll be writing a blog post about that in the very near future) – but yes! Definitely a supporter and member of the community. I’ve been working with my local chapter of Stonewall for a year on the communications committee, and I helped to edit and create content for the website.

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